worst movies of all time

1.) Ultimate Killing Machine

so bad, i had to look up the plot on imdb:

Waylon and Buddy decide to join the army as it appears to be their best option. But when they realize that they are part of a group that have been thrown into a medical experiment facility with a doctor who plans on turning them into ultimate killing machines, they must fight to destroy his other creations and save themselves



yeah... well i guess that doesn't really clear it up... um... the government tries to make people into perfect killers, obviously it goes wrong, people die, creepy test subject, and SPOILER ALERT!


theres a big explosion at the end that there isn't enough money to actually show


yup, you don't see it after the buildup. wow.

2.) Ghost Rider

even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes. nic cage is great in some of his movies- this is not one of them. the lines he and all the other actors spew (e.g. Come over here and I'll kill you, you son of a bitch! ) reach a level of unintentional comedy that carrot top wishes he could harness.

just bad. it's bad. if it weren't for eva mendes' smokin hot bod, this would be # 1



3.) Doomsday


just saw this 'film' and let me tell you. i cannot accurately describe to you the experience.

theres a deadly virus, a la 28 days later (but dumber), lots of scotland/britain is quarantined and everyone inside is dead... or so you think

dun dun dunhhhhhhhhhhhhh

30 years later, the virus returns and the govt reveals there are survivors, they send a team in, blah blah, people are cannibals, vicious and billy idol-esque

others have retreated to the hills and regressed to a medieval society

yeah, dunno.


anyhoo, the heroine (right, the team is led by a smokin hot babe)leads another real cute survivor lady out in a bentley

actually i'm still not sure what happened in this movie. jesus christ. i think i wrote this exact script one night when i was really messed up (monster+ weed+ beer+ weed+ shots + itunes on random playing billy idol = will writes this movie)


my brain hurts, and i should used my ten bucks on something i coulda killed my brain cells with faster, like a bunch of tiny rocks i coulda snorted.



4.) Timeline

ok, so they took what I recall as a fairly interesting Michael Chrichton novel (about time travel), ate it, shat it out, and then ate it and barfed it up

this script is what came up.

here's all you need to know:

scene x- frenchmen speaking french, with subtitles

scene y- later in the, uh, 'movie' the french are back, and.... SPEAKING ENGLISH (no subtitles)


HOORAY

5.) Hulk


you know it.


more to follow


will
i
am

GOTTA KEEP MY GAME TIGHT, LIKE KOBE ON GAME NIGHT

listen up, shmucks


how bout some posting? this blog is freakin weak


here's a thought: the suns should run a 4.5 man break with shaq jogging to halfcourt merely to see if he can help as a trailer. otherwise, just play d fella




another thought:



kobe, man up, just cut off the pinky, stop being a big floppy cooter











enjoy your pancakes...... bitches



-will.i.am

Eric Wynalda is fired from ESPN

He can now stalk the Revolution and break their hearts in MLS Championships full time.

asking the experts:

rolen in toronto and glaus in st. louie.... who is the better fantasy pickup?

In other news...

Ohio State is better than Georgetown and UCLA in football and better at Georgetown in basketball (remember March Madness last year Will? Yeah, that's right big dog. Greg Oden, when healthy will eat you.)
Greg Oden says "At least we are in the National Championship."

look closely

this is two-fold

1.) fuck you ohio state and the big ten in general for pretending to be good

2.) sweetheart, you're not quite attractive enough to heckle angry men without gettin a smack.... sorry.

TreTrain, Celebrate Accordingly!

The injections were B-12...I swear

Roger, WHY would you need to have INJECTIONS of B-12? You can get that shit in Gatorade, Powerade, etc.

Why do you lie? Why did your fastball GAIN velocity as you got older? Look at Schilling...his fastball is sitting at 90....on a good day. Stop lying, and come out with it...you cheated, tainted the game and you should be punished.