Here's to insanely talented wise ass superstars!

when asked if the gameplan was to keep chucking it down the field even if there was double, even triple coverage:












well yeah, hell, i AM randy moss, aren't i?


gotta love it

Boston Fans Finally Get An Answer...

When Roger would get knocked out in the early innings at Fenway during his first tour with the Evil Empire, the fans would serenade him with "Where is Roger?" chants. Usually the responses would be "Eating a donut!" or "In the shower!" Apparently the real answer was "Getting a syringe shoved in his butt injected steroids!" It's quite fitting that the man who cheated the best fans in the world turned out to cheat the game as well. Shame on you douchebag.

Hail to the Victors

Ohio State is, once again, playing for the BCS National Championship.

Fuck all the haters....

I hope to see this again.

FUCK YOU ESPN

Joba is 'NEXT'?





wait... let's take a second to consider this situation further....




NEXT.





NEXT.



NEXT.


see also, KHALID EL-AMIN, KERRY WOOD,and JARED LORENZEN




Oh, so, wait, that shit is relevant like 30 PERCENT OF THE TIME

got it.

good luck joba

hope you keep that weight down fella!


sincerely,

the management

RIP Sean Taylor

i disliked sean taylor. anyone who spits on another person and is older than 7 does not get my favorite player vote



that being said, he was a hell of a player, and apparently a great teammate and guy as well

no one should have to go that early



all condolences out to everyone feeling the hurt from the loss of Mr. Taylor.


will. i . am

Wynalda.....AGAIN?????!??????

Revs lose MLS Cup for the third year in a row. The Curse of Eric Wynalda strikes again.

Fuck you Wynalda. We will get you....

Bonds*

Rot in jail you bitch.

You are in the spot light whether you like it or not.
Even though you are probably going to get off scott free, at least people realize Bonds* is a bitch.

GONGRATS DUSTY!

What to say about Dustin Pedroia?

Dustin Pedroia is short. Dustin Pedroia is slow. Dustin Pedroia is the Rookie of the Year. he won the honor playing hard, playing tough, playing like a goddamn champion. dustin pedroia is a role model for anyone who watches baseball.

the guy played with one fully functional hand and carried a team with fuckin manny ramirez and david ortiz IN THE WORLD SERIES.




we should all be thankful that he and paps and jacoby and clay and all the freakin prospects on the rise look to be with us for a loooonnnngggg time



booyah

One Curse Down

One to go.
The Rev's have played in 3 MLS cups (including 2 in a row) and have lost all three.

Fuck you, Wynalda.


Break the curse of Eric Wynalda. We haven't won a championship since we traded him to the Fire back in '01.

The Hub!

Go Revs?

Go Revs!

Avenge your loss to Dynamo last season and continue title-town's run!

WHY ARE THESE MEN SMILING?

BECAUSE THE CELTICS ARE LOOKIN SWEET- AND NOT JUST BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY HAVE THE RIGH TO WEAR THOSE BALLA' ASS WHITE AND GREENS NOW


KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON

NOW IF ONLY BC WOULD STEP UP ITS GAME, BOSTON COULD BE TEABAGGING THE ENTIRE SPORTS WORLD

BREAKING NEWS FROM BOSTON:

THERE IS A GOD.

Red Sox sweep Rockies for second World Series Championship in 4 years.

I'M EXPRESSING MY INNER ANGUISH THROUGH THE MAJESTY OF SONG!

HEROES IS THE HOTTEST SHOW IN THE WORLD.

when i die, these two will be waiting in full superhero regalia. just delightful.

The one thing I hate about being a Sox fan

per sportsline.com

Superfan

Colorado: Unknown.

Boston: Ben Affleck.

Edge: Colorado.

What, Me Worry?

after much careful research (and by that i mean several hours of Backyard Baseball)...


there are many, many, manny reasons that both the red sox and the rockies are where they are. momentum, big cajones, some little asshole second baseman, a sweet postseason catchphrase all make the extensive list. 'cowboy up' was quaint...for a while, but let's get real real son- 'rocktober' is kinda badass.

but let's look at the most fundamental aspect of the series- the fans.




this is a rockies fan. notice the uneeded rally cap. observe the look on the young man's face that seems to say 'i am confounded by this modern technology'








this is a red sox fan




notice:

a) the age- we start them young, they know which side their bread is buttered on. this fan was probably born the same year the colorado was established as a franchise
b)the blood covering the right half of his face, undoubtedly spilt from the flesh of some unworthy fan sitting closer than the lil tyke



oh shit, wait




this is also a red sox fan. damnit, nilly. the point is no longer valid



so we move on



what is the second most important thing a playoff team needs besides good pitching?


good facial hair.




it is a well known fact that the team with either the collective best facial hair or best individual scruff wins the series. playoff beards win games and save lives.

true story.


so i present the facts:





here are some main players for the roxies. NOTE: the only player with substantial hair of the facial region has some form of a lumberjack vagina growing around his mouth. not a winner.
pitchers for the rockies are not included because im pretty sure none of them HAVE facial hair. jeff francis is actually 14 years old, but by some freakish disease/radiation/trick of the light is the size of a grown man. OH MY GOD... HE'S LIKE TOM HANKS IN BIG. HOW HAS NO ONE PICKED UP ON THIS?????????????????/



JEFFERY! COME BACK IN FOR DINNER!


























but i digress.



the red sox, on the other hand could defeat the rockies on one man's well sculpted decorative fuzz- that of mike lowell.















simply put, badass. well groomed sideburns and a sweet goatee. done and done.


the sox can also tout jason varitek's classic goatee, youk's spartan warrior shit. dice-k and okiedokie's pencil-thin ninja deal, jbecks clump, timlin's patch (if he grows it back), ortiz's confounding trail from hair to chin (how DOES he do it), and jd drew's lack of any real value in this world. wait that last one isnt facial art, just a fact that jd drew can suck my balls.

suck my balls jd drew.


notice i did not mention gagne's thing growing off his face. this is due to the fact that a large poriton of new england, myself included, are praying the man picks up a razor soon, and not only to shave his face (he could take off a whole arm while he's at it...)




and lastly



if there is a god, or at least a higher power, he has for the most part stayed away from contributing to sports, regardless of what jon kitna or the worst steroid user ever paul byrd says


but if someone's out there, and he cares about his children, there is no way in hell a team wearing purple so prominently is winning the whole thing.


so we got that goin for us... which is nice.

Is Drew like the Groundhog?

Some questions were raised last night after the game such as "Who is Paps dance teacher? I want to learn how to jive and shake like that," "Did JBex really just talk in a complete sentence?" Was V-Mart crying? There is no crying in baseball!" and the last one makes you wonder..."Do J.D. Drew and Punxsutawney Phil share a relative?" I ask this because the good J.D. Drew came out in game six, but, when presented with the opportunity to make the Boston faithful fall in love yet again (I am talking about when he came up with the bases loaded in the 1st, prompting one fan to say "If Drew does it again, I will buy a J.D. Drew jersey and name my first child Drew") he didn't get it done. Now, does Drew have "groundhog syndrome?" In other words, did the Good J.D. Drew see his shadow and now 6 more weeks of really bad baseball? You have to wonder.....

The Mighty Mite - D-Peddy

How could anyone not love this kid? Ok, well if he was a Yankee, I would passionately hate his guts. He's small (5'7" actually), he's not fast (7 SB's), he has moderate range in the field and doesn't kick the ball around. The kid has minimal power and generally sticks to singles and the occasional double. But he is a royal pain in the ass if you are facing him. He walks. He doesn't strike out. He hustles and he gives enough shit for him and JD. The best part about the little bugger? (Other than the bat flip following his 7th inning homer off the previously untouchable, yet totally overworked former steroid abuser Rafael Betancourt) Dusty thinks every pitcher he faces is junk. Whether its Sean Henn or Johan Santana, it's all junk.

"What? You struck me out? That's because im fucking lazy...Bitch! I have your ass on my fantasy team and I needed the extra strikeout. We're fucking bending you douchebags over anyways so who cares? I sure don't give a fuck about you because your stuff is shit...Asshole."



"Anyways, so we're playing the Rockies now for the right to be the King of the Fucking World...Bitch! But seriously though, the Rockies? They are a bunch of fucking mountains. I could run up a fucking mountain if I wanted to...but I don't, so fuck you. I'm Dustin mothafuckin' Pedroia. Nobody has shit on me. I'm the best fucking player in baseball...the Rockies my ass. I'll singlehandedly fuck them up back to 1996. Maybe I'll let my boy Papi have a few swings, but these fuckers are mine. I don't even need help, I'm only offering a free shot at these pussies to my boy Papi 'cause he's fucking huge. And Manny is my boy too. The guy is a fucking nutjob. One time we hot-boxed his Escalade before a game. When we got to the stadium we both ate like 15 chicken parm subs from Vinnie's and then hit fucking homers in BP with Dougie. But fuck you, I'm the fucking chillest motherfucker on the whole fucking team. Fuck that, the league. Fuck that, the whole fucking world."

BREAKING NEWS:

RAGING PAPELBONER EPIDEMIC BREAKS OUT IN GREATER BOSTON AREA

BRING IT BITCHES

OUR CLOSER IS CRAZIER THAN YOURS AND HE KNOWS HE'S GETTIN THOSE OUTS

WHAT?????!?????

Yeah Basketball

The new-look Celtics shat on the Knicks last night at the T.D. Banknorth this name is way to long New Fleet Center. K.G. and Ray Allen look like they are up to the task of bringing a championship to Boston. Something Coco Crisp, Julio Lugo, J.D. Drew. Dustin Pedroia, Manny Delcarmen and apparently Manny have decided not to do. So yeah, get down with your badselves Celtics. Did anyone question the Truth's production with the addition of these two super stars? Yeah, he dropped a team leading 22 on the New York Sexual Harassers.


So, yeah, I can't believe I am saying this but....



Celtic Pride?

Pitchers and Catchers Report

Pitchers and catchers report in 4 months....maybe the Red Sox will decide they want to make it past the ALCS next year. And maybe Dice-K will justify his salary and maybe I will find $10 billion on the side of the road....hey, we all can dream, can't we?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

There are no words

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY BACK

Welcome back, Manny.

this is why we have this shitty, half-assed blog:

HEADLINE: 'Spice Girls Tickets Sell Out in 38 Seconds'



really people?


reallllly?


realllllllly?







...oh.

gay-rod

boy oh boy
can't wait to see what those striped homosexicles pull off in the playoffs
sure hope a-rod's been doing his wrist exercises for extra powerful slapping ability

Joba Rules

I am so fucking sick of Joba Chamberlain. Yes...he is good, yes he can be great, but please ESPN, YES, FOX Sports, just SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT HIM ALREADY. I have heard of human interest stories, but this is getting out of hand. There is so much focus on Chamberlain that it takes away from the game.

I feel like screaming with all this bullshit attention Chamberlain is getting.



He will be SITTING in the bullpen in the FIRST INNING blowing bubbles with his gum and Joe Morgan will come in with "Now, that is a real champion right there. Only a rookie of Chamberlain's caliber can blow bubbles that big." Mean while, Beckett just threw at Jeters head and there is a bench clearing brawl, but does ESPN cover the brawl? No, the cover Joba clipping his nails....it is bullshit. So please, wait till the kid has done something really good, like throw a no-hitting in his second start, then you can talk about him all you want. JUST SHUT UP.

Dear Manny,

Where'd you go, we miss you so, seems like it's been forever since you've been gone, please COME BACK TO THE LINE UP.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WE ARE LOSING GAMES BECAUSE YOU ARE OUT OF THE LINE UP. 20 MILL FOR YOU TO SIT ON THE BENCH BECAUSE YOUR BACK HURTS? AWWWWW POOR BABY. HERE IS AN IDEA, GET OFF THE BENCH, PICK UP A BAT AND HIT HOMERUNS TO HELP US WIN GAMES. MAYBE IT IS YOUR HAIR THAT IS CAUSING ALL YOUR BACK PROBLEMS. I AM SURE YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO GET A HAIR CUT AND STOP BEING SO TOP HEAVY. I MEAN COME ON, YOU DO KNOW WHAT A HAIR CUT IS, DON'T YOU? OR ARE YOU TO STONED TO KNOW?

Sincerely,
All of Boston

GOD DAMN IT

ERIC GAGNE WOULD YOU KEEP A LEAD? WHY ARE WE PLAYING YOU TO BLOW LEADS LIKE THIS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THE GAME IS NOT OVER NOW, HUH BIG GUY. PICK UP YOUR GAME OR YOU WILL BE RUN OUT OF BOSTON.

Puerto Rican or Native American...You Decide

People In Split Love Their Hajduk

Pronounced Hi-Duke, Hajduk Split is a soccer team in the first division of the Croatian (Hrvatski) soccer league. They are probably worse then every MLS team yet get more respect because they are from Europe. Also, everyone in Split is bonkers for them. Their team symbol is emblazoned on every single apartment complex and their flag flies from every post in Split, the second largest city in Croatia. When I was walking around in a Red Star Belgrade jersey (not even the same country although formerly part of Yugoslavia together) during a Hajduk game in Split, I was almost assaulted....like 10 times by drunken fans pissed at Hajduk´s loss to Sampdoria in the UEFA cup qualifying. In Europe, be careful about what soccer jerseys you wear.

Dear, Mr. Drew

SWING THE FUCKING BAT LIKE A MAN
JESUS CHRIST

IF YOU PULL THIS LOOK AT 2 STRIKES CHECK SWING AT STRIKE 3 BULLSHIT IN THE PLAYOFFS WE OF RED SOX NATION ARE GOING TO RUN YOU OUT OF TOWN TARRED AND FEATHERED LIKE A FUCKING VEGAS SHOWGIRL YOU BIG NANCY



GODDAMNIT.



STEP IT UP, PUNK BITCH



SINCERELY,

US.

A letter:

Dear Tre Train,

Please publish a post and stop creating new ones and doing nothing about them. With all do respect, it bothers me more than your love of NoGradU. Now, I know there are many cute boys at your unspecified college in an undisclosed location, however, get your dick out of your hands so they are free to work the keyboard and maybe finish a goddamn post.


Regards,

The Management

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you...

Mr. Clay Buchholz.

Welcome to Boston, we've been expecting you.

What A Pick Up

Well, the trading deadline was supposed to shore up the Red Sox bullpen and it didn’t. All people were talking about was how the Sox were SET. They had the starting rotation, the line-up and ‘pen to make a serious run. Now, we have Hideki “I guess hitters have figured me out” Okajima in the 7th to Eric “way back” Gagne in the 8th. Remember when the bullpen gave you heart attacks, like in the ’03 season? Back when we just threw a guy out there and said “good luck?” well it feels like that is what we have going on right now except we guys designated to go throw the game away. Psh, the Yankees are now 4 game out of first in what was supposed to be a season of domination in the AL East. We are playing .500 baseball and it looks like the guys are getting bored out there. Do the Yankees really have to come close for there to be urgency on this team? I mean with all the focus on Barry Bonds* breaking the homerun record, the media has not really focused on the Yankees coming within 4 games of the Sox. Now that everyone has calmed down about Bonds*, maybe the media will start to put pressure on the boys with the Red Sox and talk about how epic of a collapse this would be for them to lose the AL East after having such a large lead to begin with. I just hope this is just a rut and the Sox will snap out of it because, if we peaked too soon like we did last year, then we will be the laughing stock of the baseball world. Lets not screw this one up boys.

EDIT: 9/17/07 Gagne blows ANOTHER save in a Sox uniform. He can't protect the 1 run lead to keep us 6 up on the Yankees. Way to go. Go play hockey.

You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

I Present to you the ugliest, most masculine woman any of us will ever lay eyes on
(tretrain, i know it's tough, but pull your eyes away and read you big creeper)














Oh, hello, where are my manners? I almost forgot we had a blog for the three of us to read.

While I still try and perfectly reason my pro/con war of words raging over lindsay lohan's relative hotness, I have heard possibly the worst, most poorly worded, inadequately reasoned, and quiet frankly dumbest argument in the history of talk radio.

It's quite astonishing.

while listening to 850 WEEI Boston, a middle aged man called in and verbalized his argument for why Barry Bonds should be laid off of (the quote: 'nothing has been proven yet,' like we havent heard that before...).

His basic argument revolved around this (generalized) point: Barry Bonds probably has not taken steroids because (brace yourself) he has not dropped dead yet.


Yes, he went down a list of players and people who were known 'users' who had died of things that could be traced back to steroid use.


Wow. Sir, are you yourself on drugs? Barry Bonds isn't a user because he hasn't overused his weapon of mass distortion?


Come on.


That's like saying Keith Richards never used drugs because he hasn't died of an overdose yet.
Same for Ozzy Ozbourne.
Or the aforementioned Ms. Lohan.
Or that Paris Hilton doesnt have an exhibitionism problem, no, nevermind, that's a train of thought I'm leaving at the station.

It's like saying Joe Morgan wasn't dropped as a kid because he can still form near-coherent sentences.


Just because there is roundabout evidence that someone has a problem using (not so subtly with the case of Richards or Lohan, but gimme a break, I'm writing on the fly, that's the best I got right now).



Barry Bonds used steroids. period.


He used to be one of my favorite players.
He would have made the hall of fame first ballot.
He could have gone the Ted Williams route and made friends with selected media members after he retired.


But the roids got to his head (don't believe me? See for yourself:



























































grrrrrrrrrrr. BARRY ANGRY BARRY WANT EAT



honestly, the information is there.
people who are arguing at this point are just trying to cut their/barry's losses.
the man is a cheat.


to what degree we won't know until all the documentation is released/stolen and leaked




but really, people, when we're arguing that guys aren't using steroids because they haven't died from using steroids, you know baseball, and sports in general, are in a sorry state of affairs.




good night, and everyone enjoy So Taguchi and his travelling band of merry men


will.i.am