Express Yourself, Mark Cuban

So Mark Cuban wants to buy the Chicago Cubs. I think that is fantastic, I mean who can not say they are excited to see Bud Selig having to deal with Cuban’s antics? David Stern, who probably runs the most politically correct sports in the United States, (lets face it, the MLB has to deal with Gary Sheffield’s new allegations of racism in the Yankee club house, the NLF has to deal with most of their players – or maybe Pacman Jones and the entire Cincinnati Bengals team – deciding to live like thugs) and has been going crazy keeping Cuban under wraps, which he has not been able to do. So, lets say Cuban buys the Cubs, what is Selig going to do? He is the second most ineffective commissioner in US sports (thank god Gary Betman is around) and does not deal well with controversy of any kind. From him proclaiming a tie at the All-Star game a few years ago to his extensive inquiry into steroid use in baseball (has anyone heard anything about progress at all in this field?) he has done nothing to deal with any problems baseball has faced. Until big, bad Cuban comes around. Lets take a second to look at some of the actions Cuban has been fined for, shall we? In the words of the Miami (OH) cheerleading squad: “Ready? Okay!”
$500,000 for saying he wouldn’t hire an NBA executive to manage a Dairy Queen (I find this funny because I wouldn’t hire Selig to manage a Dairy Queen.)
$250,000 for saying the NBA and its’ officials rigged the games (Wait ‘till an Umpire blows a call)
$250,000 fine for criticizing the referees
$100,000 for blogging (Curt Schilling would never make it in the NBA, considering he is going to start a live blog from the mound.)

$100,000 after sitting on the baseline during a game
$100,000 for making a derogatory gesture (B.K. Kim did this, but he did not get fined)
$100,000 by the league for comments he made about the officiating
$25,000 after verbally abusing and publicly criticizing referees
$15,000, after having to be physically removed from the court
$10,000 and suspended for two games after running onto the court to break up a fight
$10,000 for what the league called "inappropriate public comments"
$5,000 for criticizing an official

I would just like to point out how the NBA fines people for the smallest thing, while the MLB just sits there and does nothing. I bet Cuban cannot wait.

So lets make up a situation here: The Cubs are in the NLCS against a New York team…hm…the Mets! Okay, so the game is in Chicago, man of first, and he takes off for second base Lo Duca throws to second and…he…is…OUT! The fans are pissed, so is Cuban especially since replays show that he was actually NOT out and missed the player completely thus resulting in a phantom tag (I am not a bitter Red Sox fan, I swear.) What will Cuban do? I am going to assume he will have seats right next to the Cubs dugout ala Ben “Hey, I am King of Red Sox Nation even though everyone hates me” Affleck, but from those seats will he run on the field like he did in the 2006 NBA finals? Lets say he does and gets hauled off the field and misses the rest of the game, which the Cubs lose. Now that no one cares about the NLCS anymore, people turn to Bud to see what he will do. Will we see another famous Bud shrug? He has done nothing to deal with controversy in the past, letting the teams do most of the work. Even when something happens and the league suspends a player, they appeal and end up having to do nothing. Cuban must be licking his chops think of all he will be able to get away with! Selig will be rendered helpless by Cubans antics, thus forcing him to retire earlier than he expected (yay!) If this happens maybe America’s Past Time will once again become, well, good. People say Cuban might ruin baseball, but Selig ruined baseball and if Cuban runs him out of baseball he will being doing us all a service. Cuban will make the game more exciting and bring back the casual fan. The only thing keeping baseball on edge right now are Sheffield and whether or not the Yankees and their $200 million payroll will miss the playoffs. Cuban, the most controversial owner in sports, would bring life to the game. Plus, how afraid do you think umpires are to have to deal with the new dynamic duo: Mark Cuban and Lou Pinella? I for one cannot wait.