an idea

i sit here, supposedly working, thinking about ESPN's frustrating duo of Jon Miller and Joe 'Lil Cut Fastball' Morgan when it hit me. An idea for the ages. An idea i want no credit for unless it happens and becomes huge. Observe:




DUMB








DUMBER












DUMBEST







If television companies insist on the continued employment of these three men announcing baseball, then i propose the fans' counter-offer- put them ALL TOGETHER IN ONE BOOTH.

think about it. the sheer awkward non-chemistry would be unreal. it would be like, at a party, finding the most socially awkward kid, the horniest kid, and the dumbest kid and locking them in a room telling them to speak every thought.
Admit it, sometimes we like to see people (especially famous-ish ones) crash and burn (see; VH1). Hell who am i kidding with that 'sometimes' we ALWAYS love it.
Think about this scenario! The only one out of McCarver, Morgan, and Buck with a positive IQ is Buck (who is actually a fine announcer but makes this list and my scheme because he is an enormous prick). Morgan is like a short circuting baseball robot in the booth, repeating what Jon Miller says in more obvious ways or telling some rambling story that no one cares about and have no real value.
McCarver might do him one better, though it's not really fair to compare them, as McCarver has senility on his side, helping him through every semi-retarded comment.

Just imagine some of the conversations in that booth:

Morgan: "well Colon froze him with a lil cut fastball there!"
Buck: "er...? that's a ball folks, as Colon is having trouble controlling his offspeed stuff."
McCarver: "you know, the useful thing about an offspeed pitch is that its slower than your regular fastball"
Morgan (wildly): "LIL CUT FASTBALL?"
McCarver: "let's bring out Scooter the animated acid trip, I mean baseball, to talk about an offspeed pitch"
Buck: ""and in the game..."
Morgan:
McCarver: Boy those Yankees sure are great! I would love to just saddle up to Derek Jeter and slide my hand round his well groomed
Morgan: BLEEBLE BLABBLE
Buck (whispereing): pleasssse... go to commercial... I know its during an at bat... I ... I just wanted to call my family and tell them i loved them....
Morgan: Baseball, baseball, baseball... you know i played baseball. i used a bat and a glove. you try to hit then run and sometimes you stop the other guys from doing that too. see, i always...
McCarver (talking to a baseball in both his voice and a high pitched falsetto): So, scooter....
Buck: dead.


ok, so maybe that was a haphazardly and uncerimoniously thrown together, but i dont imagine it could be much different. perhaps by the time they put the crew together Morgan will have regressed to the 'Pokemon Point' where he can only say his first and last name (an upgrade from the usual garbage he vomits out). And maybe McCarver will have come out of the closet and not be able to do Yankee games, what with the restraining orders most of the team will have against him.


But I am sure that this trio would drive Buck to the point of insanity.



Think about it people, we have seen The Real World, the Surreal Life, Charm School, etc, etc
Now we could get the same crazy, stupid shit on tv- but in a way that guys could watch without questioning their sexuality.


and really,

isn't that what life is really all about.

keep motorboatin you motorboatin sons' of bitches you.




will.i.am